Decision Making & Conflict: Keeping it Simple
Nervous twitches of the heart.
We all have some sort of reaction to what's happening around us.
A baby cries and we're on high alert, you're nervous around someone so your heart starts beating faster, or our mother gives us a hug and we feel safe and warm.
Our body has a reaction to what it is our mind is thinking. Thanks to this, dealing with tough decisions and/or conflict doesn't have to be a HUGE revelation or daunting task. KEEP. IT. SIMPLE.
If you think of the following scenarios:
A friend that's going through a tough time
Feeling pressured to make a decision
Feeling anxious of something to come
You can literally feel a response within your body to any of those scenarios. Maybe a sharp pull in your stomach, your mind feels flustered or foggy, and/or maybe more thoughts come rushing in. These are all ways that our mind, body and soul try to communicate with us.
What's key is being able to listen to these signals that our body and higher self are trying to tell us.
I'm going to invite you to think about a time when something didn't feel right, but you went ahead and did it anyway.
Maybe a first date wasn't everything you thought it should be, but you continued to see the person anyway in hopes of something more to come. In the end, the relationship fizzled and you were left hurt and frustrated with yourself once again.
Maybe you were peer pressured into doing something that felt uncomfortable, but you still did it anyway.
Maybe you went to school for something just because that's what everyone else was doing, but you weren't 100% sold on it. You continued to stick it out. Later on down the road, you just couldn't keep up this facade of a life that just isn't meant to be yours. You are different. You want more.
Looking back, it seems so obvious that whatever you were being pressured to do just wasn't for you.
Now, think of your initial feelings to your similar situation listed above. They likely feel uncomfortable and complicated. Can you feel something in your stomach or heart? Can you hear one-hundred-and-one different stories and scenarios running through your brain?
Stop! This is KEY!
If something feels uncomfortable, complicated, and a million different stories follow the situation you're in - there's a really good chance that there's a better path for you.
Think about those scenarios above, or one that's similar but more closely related to you. You had a body, mind and soul reaction to what you were hemming and hawing about, but your mind talked you into doing something that wasn't right for you anyway. Right? You can feel those complicated feelings in your body. Those sensations. Tip: start listening to those feelings and sensations! They are almost ALWAYS spot on! The more you practice using your gut reactions, feelings and higher self as your compass in life - the more you will feel in-tune and in-sync with yourself and the world around you.
Important Note: that's what the mind does; it talks. But, the thing about that talk and those thoughts are THEY ARE NOT ALWAYS FACTS. You get to choose what to believe and pursue. You get to choose what will best SERVE you. Choose which thoughts you follow wisely.
Think of it this way: You have friend A she's SO easy to get along with, you don't have to be a certain way to get along, you don't have to do certain deeds to keep her friendship. The two of you just click and that's enough. IT'S SIMPLE.
Now, you have friend B and your relationship feels COMPLICATED. You have to put in lots of extra effort just for the two of you to remain close. You're constantly worried about saying or doing the wrong thing and you feel like your friendship takes a lot of effort.
The point being...simple works!
Complicated can only last for so long.
The same thing goes for your decision making and life choices. Keep it simple because it works! Complicated is exhausting, wearing and totally unnecessary for yourself and everyone else involved. When you move from a place of love and choices that serve you, you are benefiting your, and everyone elses, highest good.
"Life should be simple and enjoyable. If you start navigating your choices from a place of simplicity, following your gut (those internal feelings & sensations) and making choices that SERVE you, you will be on the fast track to a happy life." -Morgan Wasylyk
If you want to easily make decisions, handle conflict, or care to live a more simple and joyful life, try these tools:
1) Reconnect with yourself. Become centered. Learn who you are.
When you're in flow with your inner being or higher self, life will naturally be simple and carefree because you won't be attached to the outcome of what's to happen next. So, do things that you love, get your creative juices flowing, and take time for self-care. Everything in life is so much clearer when you move from a place of alignment.
2) Use Your Internal Compass: Ask yourself these questions when making tough decisions or dealing with conflict:
How does this feel in my body?
I spoke, at the begin of these article, about your internal reaction and feelings to what's happening around you. Here's how you can start using your internal compass:
If it feels complicated and just "icky", guess what? It IS complicated and icky! Taking a step back will simplify the situation and calm the chatter/stories that the mind is going around and around on. Sometimes the best option is to hit pause, do nothing and just nurture yourself. The rest will unfold as it needs to.
NOT EVERYTHING NEEDS FIXING!
Simplicity and the path of least resistance will always steer you to the direction you're looking for. That direction is alignment. Being in tune with yourself and your inner compass. If something feels complicated, you get a funny feeling in your stomach or there's a rush of thoughts that come to you without reason - try moving towards the simpler "feel good" option.
Does this choice serve or sabotage me?
This is key and such a simple way to determine your next best move. Sabotage may sound like dramatic word, but it's the truth. It can be drastic sabotage or mild sabotage. Literally the opposite of serving you.
All in all, just weigh the pros and cons and it will all become obvious as to what is serving your highest good.
PS if I haven't said it enough, your highest good is ALWAYS what's best for others too!
What is my next best move?
There is an infamous Oprah video that explains this and how there are no such things as mistakes. Looking back at even a seemingly wrong choice, you will be able to see how it's an important piece to your puzzle. Maybe there's a lesson, or maybe it led you to something better. Either way, IT WAS MEANT TO HAPPEN.
Sometimes the big picture can be SO OVERWHELMING. Try taking it down a notch. Everything is a stepping stone to where you want to be. Where you need to be. Just look at the next stone and you'll be on your way to your destination!
What is your next best move?
What is my mind telling me? Is it truth?
What if I told you that you didn't have to believe everything your mind said? Want to know why? Not everything your mind says is a fact!
Your brain is a tricky organ. Yes, we need it to function, but if you aren't aware of your thoughts & thought patterns your brain can easily lead you astray.
Take notice of what you're thinking. It's usually a reflection of something that's going on within you. Once you've noticed it, if it's not serving you, you can send it a gentle breath and let it go. It might come back, but just repeat. Eventually it will become less and less nagging.
Feed the thoughts and ways of thinking that you WANT to feel and live out. Try using positive affirmations to rewire your brain. Post them on your mirror or say them while meditating. Whatever you do will be beneficial and will train you to have a positive and healthy mind.
Working with a Cognitive Behavoural Therapist or Life Coach can help you understand your thought patterns, rewire the way you think, break habits and limiting beliefs that are not serving you. So, if sorting out truth, untruthful, or struggling thoughts is something you're having troubles with - reach out!
Do some searching around to find someone that's right for you. I do a lot of this in my Wellness Mentorship Program for Kids, Teens, Families & Adults.
I hope some of these tools are helpful to you. Be sure to pass this along to others that you know would appreciate it!
If you would like to learn more about how to move through your past, limiting beliefs, struggles and how to reconnect with yourself for your highest good, check out my Wellness Mentorship Program.
Much love and may you move through life choices and conflict with gentleness and ease,