We highly over-complicate confidence. Don't get me wrong, there are a tonne of excuses not to feel confident in today's world. But, they are just that...excuses.
Building confidence takes a strong foundation in the relationship you have with yourself. What you'll notice is that the way you think, what you say, the choices you make and the actions of your every day life are either in alignment with believing in/loving yourself or protecting yourself/playing small/trying to be "understood".
I might be a bit of a broken record to my clients; I talk time and time again about how it's not what needs to change in our "outside" world in order to find things like happiness, confidence + inner peace, but rather what needs to change in our "inner" world so we can have more of those wanted feelings/experiences.
I know for sure that I'm a broken record with this one-liner: "The most important relationship you have is the one that you have with yourself." I see time and time again, how true this is in working with people. When you're "right with yourself" you feel entirely different. You're not critical of yourself or others, you challenge yourself, you're compassionate, you take risks, stretch your comfort zone, can empathize with multiple perspectives/realities, pursue your passions and are able to make the most of your life. When people are trying to be digestible to others, "do the right thing", protecting themselves, people pleasing, playing small, etc. they're typically a little bundle of stress that has been diagnosed with some sort of mental health disorder.
As much as our world and childhood influences this broken state, you ultimately have the final say. You get to make choices, take action, you get to choose to be your own biggest cheerleader or not, you get to rewire the way that you think so that you can experience your life in your truest nature; bliss. That isn't to say that life won't have it's blips; you can bet your bottom dollar that it will. However, your most consistent and natural state is absolutely to feel confident in who you are and the life you're creating; bliss. If we don't, we are unconsciously committing to being stuck, insecure and even suffering.
What I didn't say is that it always comes easy. I find that the good life is a simple one, however adopting that takes consistency, intention, self-checking, not giving a shit what anyone else might think and a whole lot of discipline (the loving kind).
FREE COACHING BELOW
I have made 9 free coaching videos to help guide you from insecure and worried to confident and trusting. My suggestion would be to listen to one clip and apply it every day until you feel it sink in. I feel that each clip is a perfect guide/intention for a week. I would personally listen + apply one clip for a week and then move onto the next one each week following (total: 9 week process).
Just listening to the videos will for sure plant a seed, but if you want that seed to actually grow into something, you need to water it. Take these videos and apply, Seekers. If you wish to feel confident, then commit to it. Confidence is a byproduct of what you do. Do not expect to feel strong, brave and secure if you're not willing to try on new ways of thinking and living. It is not something you "think" your way to having; confidence is absolutely a byproduct of the little things you do that add up to monumental self-worth.
I know that if you apply what you learn from each of these videos, again I would suggest really following through on one video every week/applying the teachings and then moving onto the next one, you'll be amazed by how you feel!
I can't wait to hear how this helps you, please be sure to let me know!
You deserve to believe in yourself and feel good about yourself, Seekers. The only person that can build your confidence + the relationship you have with yourself is you.
Much love,
Morgan