What You're Afraid of Has Already Happened: Love vs. Fear
I'm here to hit you with some cliche truth. The funny thing about anything cliche...it's cliche for a reason! Cliche stands the test of time, and that says everything we need to know!
So here it is:
The Roman poet Virgil said it best: "Love conquers all."
Sing it, Virgil!
When it comes to life, we really have two choices to live by and make choices from:
Love or Fear
Love builds. Fear destroys.
Love embraces. Fear exposes.
Love whispers. Fear screams.
Love protects. Fear attacks.
Love believes. Fear doubts.
Love accepts. Fear judges.
Love heals. Fear wounds.
When it comes down to it, everything we say, do or feel comes back to their primary roots of love or fear. Emotions like happiness, contentment, peace and joy all flow from love. Worrisome, anger, hate, anxiety and guilt are clear forms of fear. Often, the reason why we're so fear driven is because of our past, preconditioned ways of being and the things we picked up from the important people who influenced our lives in our developmental years or during prior hardships. In other words, fear-based emotions, thoughts and actions are often coming from situations that we've already experienced, so our mind just tries to keep us safe by worrying. Our minds think that by worrying, we are protecting ourselves from anything bad happening. But in all actuality, worrying is a useless emotion. Worrying and fearing similar circumstances limits us. These worries aren't always based on cold-hard facts; they're often "what-if" beliefs or worst case scenarios.
The important thing to know about beliefs is...they can be changed. If you were to think of the tough times that you've been through that have created these feelings; hasn't everything turned out okay? If you're reading this right now, that means that you have survived, so everything is actually just fine.
"What you're afraid of has already happened."
It's safe to relax, you don't have to continue to protect yourself anymore and everything will work out as it's meant to. You can let your guard down. The chances of our worst case scenario actually happening is slim to nothing.
Being able to see our fear-based stories and choices we are making is very empowering and life-altering. It teaches us that not all of our thoughts are facts and if we can see them, then we can shift them to more loving and supportive ones that actually enhance our lives.
I like to be reflective of the stories I'm telling myself in my head. The stories influenced by love or fear. Once I'm able to categorize them into love-based or fear-based stories, the changes I need to make to be my most authentic and joyous self becomes so much more clear and easy to attain.
The more we can catch ourselves in our fearful patterns, habits and/or thoughts, the more we can shift our perspective and make choices that actually serve us.
Some of these stories that we might catch ourselves in include:
"I should...": shoulds are the death to our existence. They're guilt ridden and scream "who I am and what I'm doing isn't good enough." You are doing the best you can in each moment - enough with the shoulds. Where you are is purposeful - even the inbetween.
"Who am I to do that?": #ultimatelimitingbelief - who are you not to??! We are powerful beyond measure. Sometimes logic doesn't always line up for our wishes and desires, but guess what?! Great rewards and life purpose come from great risks. Anytime that you've ever taken a risk, have things not always worked out? We are well taken care of people - quit limiting yourself.
"If I do __________, ___________ will happen.": will it actually? Have those things actually happened? If they did, did you not make it through ok? Did you not learn and grow from even the seemingly hard times? What about the opposite of what could happen for success, happiness, love, etc.?
"I am too busy.": I'm too busy is code for "I'm not willing to prioritize that". Self-love requires discipline. Love yourself enough to do what you need to do, even if it's hard.
"What will other people think or what are they thinking?": worrying about the judgments of other people literally compromises your own happiness. Is it worth it? Never.
"I'll be happy when...": happiness is a state not an achievement. Making loving choices and thinking loving thoughts will cultivate happiness. Enjoy what you have and express gratitude to foster happiness. When we're in alignment grateful thoughts, we will only invite more good things into our lives. It has a snowball effect.
Thoughts and stories in our head that replay the past or create scenarios that haven't even happened yet: the only moment that exists is right now. Be here, listen to your heart and the rest will unfold as it's meant to. Adopt a mindfulness practise into your everyday life to learn how to be in the present moment. My practises involve meditation, yoga and journaling.
If we're in fear, we're not in a place of love. When we're in a place of love, we cannot be in a place of fear. So, if we break the pattern of living and thinking in fear, the loving way of being is like a perpetual cycle that continuously flows and grows. In turn, opportunities will emerge, relationships will flourish and your confidence will grow.
If someone could literally reach in and remove all of your fears, everyone single one of them, how different would your life be? If nothing stopped you from being vulnerable, your authentic self and following your dreams, let's face it, your life would be very different. Our lives are very different when we consciously let love direct our thoughts and actions. It literally changes our life.
I see more and more people radically coming to terms with/seeing their fears, and choosing love now more than ever. Times are changing, and fitting societal norms, what we think others want from us and playing small just won't cut it anymore. Our hearts and souls will no longer settle for never growing, not evolving and not reaching higher ground mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. People who are living in fear and limiting their thoughts and lives are feeling the full effects of these choices. It's unsettling, causes a great deal of emotional and mental discomfort; and even physical deterioration.
Be brave enough to chose love. Chose loving thoughts. Choose loving actions. Choose to nourish yourself mind, body and soul. Choose to surround yourself with people who offer support and cultivate joy. Choose love in order to flourish your very being and just watch and see what happens with your life. It's nothing short of miraculous.